Circular Arguments

Don’t you hate it when someone thinks they’re being helpful to you and they’re just serving to be confusing or that much more annoying? Sometimes, I read stuff like that and I think, “Why did you even bother replying in the first place? You only made it worse!” Case in point:

I don’t remember if I mentioned this before, but on the sixth (or thereabouts), I discovered that, in addition to the paper appeal I filed with LCC, I had to file an online appeal as well. I did so, even though the text boxes weren’t all that amazing and there was no place to attach proof. (It was more of a series of questions than a place to write an essay and it probably made my appeal seem disjointed.) I filled it out, but didn’t think too much about it, thinking that the paper appeal would stand up for itself. (It was a longish, eloquently worded letter with a copy of the transcripts from my bachelor’s degree enclosed. Save for a possible inclusion of notes from my counselor of the time, I thought I had it in the bag.)

I’ve been keeping track of it through the financial aid portion of the registration site, and today I noticed that the message–which had been there since the second–read slightly differently. It still said that I needed to file a digital appeal, but now–before that part–it read that my paper appeal had been denied. So I sent the financial aid office the following:

I filed my appeal by mail a few weeks ago and then I filed a copy online a few days after. I checked the website today and it said that my paper appeal has been denied and I still need to file a digital appeal.

Is it safe to say that–regardless of whether you actually received my digital appeal–I am truly denied? My paper appeal was much more lengthy and eloquent and had the appropriate proof with it…I don’t see how a digital appeal could sway you any.

Pretty straight forward, hm? Did you get my digital appeal and does it matter any, because you’ve already rejected my paper appeal. Plain and simple.

Apparently not.

Recently you submitted a GPA/Completion Ratio Appeal to LCC’s Financial Aid Department.  At this time your form has been denied, you must submit the GPA/Completion Ratio Appeal online.  We received your online Appeal as on August 9th standard processing time for appeals is up to 6 weeks.

Wow. Way to not answer my question, guys. The first two sentences are basically a rehash of what it says on the site. The third says, “We’re too lazy to properly answer your email, but expect your next rejection on September 20.”

So I replied:

Other than regurgitating what the automated system said, you didn’t answer my question. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, you’re wasting your time even looking at my digital appeal. Again: my digital appeal is less eloquent than my paper appeal, has less detail and does not include the proofs that the paper appeal had. If you’ve denied my paper appeal, there’s no way in hell you’re going to accept my digital appeal–that’s like saying, “I’m not going to buy the Mercedes, but I might consider the Toyota.”

If you’re going to deny the paper appeal, then chuck out the digital appeal. You don’t need it anymore. Don’t waste your time.

I know the Mercedes/Toyota comparison wasn’t all that sharp, but I think you know what I was getting at–and I hope they do too. Why reject the tricked out Mercedes (the paper appeal) for the Yaris (the digital appeal), which doesn’t even have what we know as the basic amenities as standard? (That was a comment on the car, not the appeal, by the way.)

Fuck the red tape and just completely reject me already. We both know I’m going to Davenport, anyway.

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