Aching to Rant

I didn’t watch the Super Bowl last night. I used to watch it when I lived with my mom and when my parents were married–only for the commercials–but since my dad doesn’t get into sports, we don’t watch, even for that.

So it wasn’t until the noon news that I heard about Pete Hoekstra’s bullshit. (If by chance you haven’t heard about it yourself or haven’t seen it on the news, check it out at the Huffington Post.)

After retrieving my jaw from the floor and exclaiming, “That asshole!“, I ranted the following. (Note that this isn’t the exact rant from earlier this afternoon, as I didn’t write it down, but it’s similar and I’ve added a few things.)

 

By my age, I’m used to the “X sacrifices newborn babies and fluffy bunnies! Vote Y, the voice of the people!” bullshit that usually pops up around election time. But this is beyond the pale.

I don’t care what Debbie Stabenow has or hasn’t done to save Michigan. I don’t care whether you’re a Republican, a Democrat or someone who defies labels. I don’t care who you think you are: you do not put inappropriate, racist, insensitive, shameful shit like that on the air! Pete Hoekstra clearly demonstrates he’s an asshole who will do whatever it takes to get into office. The actress who did the commercial is clearly a bubblebrain who was only in it for the money. (Wonder how much he paid her to shame her own people like that. And whether it was just money, or sex, booze, drugs…whatever she wanted.) Furthermore, whose brilliant idea was it to let this go on the air?! Certainly there are limits as to what can be shown on television, free speech or no.

I stick to what I said earlier: I’m glad I wouldn’t recognize Pete Hoekstra on the street if I saw him, because I would smack him into the next zip code faster than he could say “OW!

 

I was so pissed that I’m amazed I wasn’t hopping up and down in anger. (I sure thought about it, though!) In fact, this is one of those times where I’m pretty sure my profanity vocabulary isn’t as extensive as I’d like it to be in order to express my displeasure.

I think I’ll just rattle off a bunch of random stuff, so feel free to skip it. (If not, I beg your pardon if it makes absolutely no sense…I’m just…”foaming at the fingertips”.)

 

Shit. Fuck. Bullshit. Utter fucking tripe. Motherfucking bullfrog. Lower than a sow’s tits during farrowing. Asshole. Cunt. Lily-livered, snot-brained rockhead with a tiny twig for a penis. Damn. Yellow-bellied, sap-sucking mouse. Lower than a snake’s underwear. Dirtbag. Mouse shit. Turdbrain. Slime is ashamed to be categorized with him. Pickled herring brain that isn’t fit to lead a marching band of cockroaches out of a paper bag. Ideas dimmer than the toothfairy’s ass. Fucks with molehills. Kisses snakes, lizards and other assorted reptiles, amphibians and unrecognizable slimy things. HE’S the one that sacrifices newborn babies and fuzzy bunnies! (I bet he kicks kittens, too. *tear*)

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