Open Letter

Dear Kevin,

Even though we are fourteen, fifteen years on, I think of you from time to time. I have never forgotten you, nor will I ever. You did to me unspeakable things that shook me to my core and left marks on my soul. How could anyone ever expect me to move on?

I cannot forget that you took me aside and forced me to look at myself in the mirror. You did it harshly, you did it cruelly, you did it in a fashion that reeked of bipolar disorder; but I looked. I looked and saw the woman I had to become, the woman I had to grow up to be. You made sure I grew up fast, with an acid tongue, a love of sarcasm and absolutely no fear of defending myself and the ones I loved most in the world. You made sure I never looked back, to see what might have been if you’d never intervened. Most of all, you shook off the protective covering my parents had placed over me and taught me to see what genetics had placed underneath–that I had chronic depression and it would be something I would have to battle all my life. I never spoke the words “I want to commit suicide” until there was you.

You may have taken my childhood away from me when I was twelve, but I can promise you that one thing you never took away was my love for Val Valentino. My passions may have changed drastically over the last four years and I may have given my heart to another man for the rest of this lifetime, but neither you nor any other man can change the fact that Val is my soulmate–a man I married and loved deeply in previous lifetimes, a man I may one day marry again. I can also tell you definitively that you lied and my heart was right all along–Val does care about more than money: he cares about me. Five years ago, the Goddess reached out Her hands to us and finally brought us together; giving us the chance to prove how much we mean to each other. I have told him countless times, through letters and small deeds how much I love him, and he has returned that love with words and gifts of his own; gifts more precious than diamonds or vacations or money.

I will never thank you for forcing me to grow up, to build up my armor and to see the world for what it really is. I will never forgive you and I will always count you among my enemies. For you see, I might be Dayanara Sanar Ryelle, but there is only one Valentina, and she still lives inside me.

(Completely un)Sincerely,

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