I Ran Out of Mustard Jokes
Hello, hello, hello!
I have a new Twitter follower who is actually having conversations with me (yay!) and has been reading my blog, so I thought I’d write a new post to update on everything…just as soon as I reviewed my most recent entries.
(Sidenote: My new follower’s name is Mari and for about thirty seconds I thought my mother had joined Twitter, since she spells her forename the same way. But only thirty, because my mom would never join Twitter [it was enough of a hair-pull to get her to join Facebook!] and even if she did, she’d have a handle like “HikerLady” or “StorytellerLady”.)
Re-reading my statement of support for the SAG-AFTRA merger, I’m still incredibly glad I wrote it–especially since the merger went through. I don’t know about the National Writers Union (maybe sometime in the next few years), but I’m already pretty excited to join the United Utility Workers of America and I know that if I ever teach psychology one day, I’ll join the professors’ union in a heartbeat.
Book Notes: Broken Road is in development hell and I haven’t gotten Breathless off the back burner since finishing League of Lost Souls. (More writing updates shortly.)
The Top Nine Women I Think are More Beautiful than Julia Roberts kind of started the ball rolling on my crush. I mean, it was already rolling to some extent, but I think that kept my mind on the subject. (And it only took two months after Eric’s first appearance on The Finder for me to sit up and take notice! *headdesk* (Oh, yeah…and I tweeted Maddie that she’s on my list, so she probably thinks I’m a psycho, now. xD )
On Words with My Words: It worked out. I wrote a crappy song and then trashed it. Then I tried not to write poetry and came up with I wish...Despite “breaking up” with Eric (more on that in a minute, too), I’m keeping the poem and it will appear in my upcoming poetry collection Barefoot on the Couch.
Tuesday, I went online and filled out approvals for my background check and my drug tests and received the paperwork for the latter the next day. There was a lot of stuff to sign or look over (mostly PDFs that I saved to read/skim later) and I was even able to submit a picture for my employee ID via email. (I never received a response, so I guess the resolution was alright.)
I had to do a urinalysis and a hair test and the company gave the poor nurse? Technician? about a billion things to package everything up with, chain of custody forms, you name it. And this is all for working in a call center! Funny, I don’t remember it being a quarter of this level of complication the last time I had to do a drug test…but there’s a huge difference between working for Walmart and working for Consumer’s Energy, too.
Mari told me that she’d been reading my blog and that she was sorry that life seemed to be leading me away from my goals. It seems like that at the moment, doesn’t it? I replied that all I knew was that I didn’t want to end up like my father–he spent nearly thirty-five years at General Motors because he felt like he couldn’t leave the pay/benefits/etc. that came with being an employee. (But he also dropped out of community college whereas I have a bachelor’s degree and I’m pretty sure he never cherished an ambition to leave the state, much less the area.) (I can walk to where my dad grew up. It’s a mile away or less. Does that tell you anything?)
But it’s something I can’t give up, either. I’m four months into my twenty-sixth year, I live with my dad (as I have been for the last seven and a half years), I don’t own my car and I’ll all but broke. Conversely, CE is offering me $12.27/hour (with merit raises every six months, plus shift premiums and extra money for overtime–and there is overtime right now), medical/dental/vision insurance, profit-sharing, 401k, tuition reimbursement and having me join my first union. I don’t know about you, but that’s what I call a “big girl job”. And since I lost my first chance at a big girl job last year, I can’t do it again. I don’t know how I can convince myself that I have to stay on whenever it is that I decide that I hate it (and at the best jobs, I usually do), but I have no choice. I’m less than two years away from my ten year class reunion–I can’t not have a big girl job.
To paraphrase my mother, I just have to “let go and let Goddess”. It’s a lot on my mind right now, but I know it’s all part of the gods’ plan for me…just like when I spent time in the hospital last year.
I kind of went crazy over him.
Like “saving a few pictures to my computer and watching every music video he’s ever been in (except that hard rock one)” crazy. (I was even going to clip out his lines from “Smack That” so I could watch/listen to it repeatedly. (Even though I’ve recently discovered that I have his voice memorized.)
But the other day, it finally crashed. And I let it crash publicly:
Now that the sad news is out, I don’t mind shouting: HEY WORLD! I HAD THIS GIANT CRUSH ON ERICROBERTS AND I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF ANYONE KNOWS! ‘Cause the flame is fizzling…and just when I decided to ignore him and leave well enough alone, Fox announces that they canceled “The Finder”. Great…that will make my recovery a whole lot easier!
(Unfortunately, Finder’s cancellation left three separate cliffhangers; but on the other hand, I have the comfort of knowing that Shadrack will never succeed in forcing Willa to marry Timo!)
When we’re younger, I don’t think we take our crushes quite so seriously. If they’re hot, then we latch on and swoon over them and so on and so forth. But I guess now that I’m an adult, my policy is “if I can’t imagine dating him in real life, I don’t want to have a crush on him”.
Let’s see…he’s vegan, the quotes on his website are confusing (but that may just be the person who wrote them!) and we don’t like the same actors or movies. (I don’t think I’ve seen any of the movies he lists, to be honest.) We probably don’t like the same music or television shows, either. (I know that he watches The Voice based on his tweets…I dropped out after the first half hours of auditions in season one.) Not to mention that he’s crazy as hell for his wife. (Look around…Eliza is everywhere!)
I know whether or not they’re married doesn’t matter when you have a celebrity crush, but the rest of that stuff does–at least to me. I don’t know…I guess just thinking about all that stuff (plus one other thing that I have no proof of validity for) is a turn off.
Oh and one last little nitpicky thing? He never said shit when Finder was canceled. I know he was only on two of the episodes, but come on! Show some respect! Nice to know that that was just a “gig” for you! (This may only be intuition talking, but I bet if Jamie was on Twitter or Facebook and a show he was on was canceled shortly after he was on [Numb3rs comes to mind], he’d say something!)
Mondo revise on Breathless…that’s probably why I’m procrastinating.
I went through what I’d written before and made a new outline (and I hate outlines!) with all the corrections/changes/additions and everything else I wanted to do to the manuscript…and then I started fresh.
But it’s going to be better. I know it.
I’ve been collecting my poetry for a couple of years now. Most of it has been culled from the web (I posted my poems on a few different sites from junior high until halfway through high school), but there are quite a few new pieces that I’ve written since I started the collection. Anyway, it’s called Barefoot on the Couch and I’m getting close to being…okay, halfway ready for publication.
My goal was fifty poems. I have forty written, seven more planned (about the different sabbats, to accompany the one I wrote last fall) and three more to come up with before I can publish. Not to mention deciding whether I want pages discussing/describing the poems, pictures or both. (And all the other self-publishy stuff.) And I’m also going to look into making the move from Lulu to CreateSpace. (I’m thinking of doing half and half–hard copies from Lulu and digital through CreateSpace. That way, at least one version of it is on Amazon.)
When I had “Words with My Words”, I mentioned League of Lost Souls, but I never went into detail on what it was about!
LLS is the first fan fiction piece I’ve written in nearly two and a half years and it’s in the Finder universe. Willa meets a “cousin” who tells her that she was able to escape having an arranged marriage because she was the heiress to her clan. Obviously, LLS strays from the normal realm of “finding” and goes off on a side course to find Shadrack’s missing brother (and introduces his not-so-missing brother) and prevent Willa’s marriage to Timo. I won’t go into detail, because I hope y’all will eventually read it (http://www.fanfiction.net/~JamiesFanGirl is the address to get there), but someone dies and Willa’s ending is bittersweet.