I am NOT a Millennial!

If I ever meet William Strauss and Neil Howe (the gentlemen responsible for naming the "millennials"), I'll clock them 'round the head for dissolving Generation Y and lumping me in with these…children. (*shiver of revulsion*) Doesn't matter that generations are supposed to run for twenty years apiece; either call Y as being 1982-1992 or call me a "late X"…just don't call me a millennial!

Millennials are the self-obsessed "selfie generation", who can't remember life before cell phones, iPods and broadband internet. (You know how old I was when I got all those? Eighteen, twenty-one [later for an actual iPod] and twenty-six! Not nine [or whatever the age is now]!) Take away their electronics, take them camping and they'll cry. Gone are the days when the "popular" girls would hiss "scrub" as you passed in the hall…now there are a billion different forms of social media where kids can tell each other how worthless they are and that they should go kill themselves. I recently re-read the Laura Ingalls Wilder books and I was gladdened by how wholesome they are. When Nellie Oleson got snippy, the other girls ignored her…Laura certainly didn't run home to update her Facebook profile!

You think you can lump me in with these anklebiters? Oh, puh-lease!

  • When millennials were babies, what gen Y calls "classic Nickelodeon" were still in first-run episodes; as was Who's the Boss?Full House and The Cosby Show.
  • Books were still books and you had to go to an actual store to buy them.
  • Celebrities weren't making fools of themselves on social media, because there was no social media!
  • We didn't have to put up with the Kardashians, because their father wasn't famous yet.
  • Floppy disks were still floppy and our parents risked taping over our Kindergarten graduations to catch their favorite shows. (I think my father actually did tape over my graduation!)
  • And lots of other things that this list happily covers…

Keep "millennial" for the 1993-2003 generation, if you like…just leave me the hell out of it.

2 responses

  1. Right?? I’ve never considered myself a Millennial, because it’s inaccurate. I was born in 1990, and I remember as a kid I practically lived outside – I loved it! (Even my brother Alex, six years my junior, was the same way, no matter what season it was, we were outside.)

    I didn’t have a cell phone until I was 18, (and all the cells I’ve owned since then have been the basic flip or slide kind). and I stuck with my handheld CD player until last Christmas (at the age of 23) when I finally decided it was time to upgrade to an iPod.

    I hadn’t even really used computers until I was about 11, and even then I only used it to play Diablo 2, a fantasy-horror game designed by Blizzard. It wasn’t until I was 15 that I even bothered with social media, and initially my sign-up for a MySpace profile occurred because of the urging of friends who already had profiles and wanted a way of keeping in contact.

    I still don’t like e-books however….for me, nothing can surpass the beauty of a physical book – the steady reassuring weight of a novel in your hands, the feeling of its smooth dry paper, the soft whisper of pages as they’re turned, the smell of books that is relaxing and exciting and nostalgic all at once.

    I feel that the true Millennials are deprived of many of the simple joys we experienced as kids, because technology has grown so large, become so loud, made itself so utterly dominating, that to ignore it is damn-near impossible. The quiet beckoning of nature is drowned out by the siren song of social media. The pleasure of running barefoot through freshly mowed grass, exploring the woods amongst chirping birds and foraging squirrels, raking fallen leaves into huge piles perfect for jumping into, spending hours creating snow people, sledding down hills over and over again, all of that is cast aside with a bored huff in favor of the Millennial god – and the Internet is certainly a jealous god, demanding of constant sacrifices of time. (And little else is worth as much as time, since we can’t regain the hours we use up, no matter how frivolously they’re spent.)

    So I am in agreement with you, Dayanara. Don’t call us Millennials!

    30 Jun 2014 at 6:16 pm

  2. Bravo! Amazing! Wonderful! I love you, darling writer. ^_^

    30 Jun 2014 at 6:19 pm