I am NOT a Millennial!
If I ever meet William Strauss and Neil Howe (the gentlemen responsible for naming the "millennials"), I'll clock them 'round the head for dissolving Generation Y and lumping me in with these…children. (*shiver of revulsion*) Doesn't matter that generations are supposed to run for twenty years apiece; either call Y as being 1982-1992 or call me a "late X"…just don't call me a millennial!
Millennials are the self-obsessed "selfie generation", who can't remember life before cell phones, iPods and broadband internet. (You know how old I was when I got all those? Eighteen, twenty-one [later for an actual iPod] and twenty-six! Not nine [or whatever the age is now]!) Take away their electronics, take them camping and they'll cry. Gone are the days when the "popular" girls would hiss "scrub" as you passed in the hall…now there are a billion different forms of social media where kids can tell each other how worthless they are and that they should go kill themselves. I recently re-read the Laura Ingalls Wilder books and I was gladdened by how wholesome they are. When Nellie Oleson got snippy, the other girls ignored her…Laura certainly didn't run home to update her Facebook profile!
You think you can lump me in with these anklebiters? Oh, puh-lease!
- When millennials were babies, what gen Y calls "classic Nickelodeon" were still in first-run episodes; as was Who's the Boss?, Full House and The Cosby Show.
- Books were still books and you had to go to an actual store to buy them.
- Celebrities weren't making fools of themselves on social media, because there was no social media!
- We didn't have to put up with the Kardashians, because their father wasn't famous yet.
- Floppy disks were still floppy and our parents risked taping over our Kindergarten graduations to catch their favorite shows. (I think my father actually did tape over my graduation!)
- And lots of other things that this list happily covers…
Keep "millennial" for the 1993-2003 generation, if you like…just leave me the hell out of it.