I feel like I’ve been paying way too much attention to Greg lately–to the point where I feel (sadly) neglectful of Jamie. It doesn’t help that I have something fueling my addiction besides my writing (I won’t say what, of course), but it’s starting to make me feel like a stalker.
And then I saw this on Inside Edition tonight. (Well, not this exact video, since IE just made it a text story…but this is the best one I found on YouTube.)
(not the original video)
Wow. Em…no, that’s not me.
So I’m crazy in my devotion. And maybe I’m too old for such “schoolgirl crushes” (if that’s what you call them). But I’m far from chimney climbing and or turning into Annie Wilkes. (How would that even work out, anyway, when I’m the novelist?) Besides, as I’ve always said–more truthfully than fancifully–stalking gets you in trouble. It makes the object of your affections mad at you. Not to mention getting my lazy ass out of my own state and going somewhere. (And the expense of it all! Yuck!) No thank you! Better to stay home, write my novels and dream my silly little head off. Cheap, legal and has my own bed at the end of the day. ^_^
The issue is then raised, “What if it isn’t a ‘crush’? What if the Universe has decided to have you fall in love with someone of repute?” (Laying aside, of course, any foreknowledge options of divination or being intuitive, as a skeptic would merely blow those off as wishful thinking.) In that case, you stay back–you sit down and wait for the Universe to come to you. Ignore the adage that “god/dess helps those who help themselves”. Otherwise, you might end up doing something stupid, like breaking up a marriage/long-term partnership or actual, criminal stalking.
Breaking up a relationship is high on my list of “Don’t Do It”. It’s not worth it for a “fuck buddy” (to borrow a term from Sex and the City) and if you’re hot on this person for an actual relationship–or you think you’re in love–it will taint things FOREVER! Me, piss off Mrs. Prince Charming? That’s an “oh my fucking Goddess, there’s AN ACROMANTULA IN MY DRIVEWAY!!!” sized nope.
(I think I had a point here, but I lost it somewhere.)
Anyway, if I thought I had a black cloaked knight waiting out there for me, far across the seas of time; I’d wait, too. I’d convince myself out of “baby steps”, because any action I might take could be too dangerous. Even if it didn’t affect anyone directly, it might change the river of fate and make it so that my knight would forget about me; would ride off in search of another woman.
Tenneyson said “it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all”. I’d change that to being better to have loved and never had a relationship with the object of your affections, as opposed to trying too hard and fucking everything up.