Everything on Hold

I figured both this and "running scared" were good titles, but couldn't decide.


If you're here, you've been deemed safe enough to continue reading my blog (which I will explain in a moment). I don't think you work for the government or will go tattling to them, and you seem to be a pretty loyal reader (or were just on my subscription list).

And no, this isn't paranoid conspiracy shit. This is, "I can show you a screenshot proving that the social security administration has been spying on my blog, hoping to catch me out."

Right down to the fact that this person was at the Baltimore office at 1:07:18 PM EDT yesterday, using Internet Explorer 11 on Windows 7 and had the IP address of XXX.XXX.XXX.33. (An IP lookup of which says that they’re even using a corporate internet connection through Verizon.)


Believe me now?

Let's make it quick and easy and say that I have significant mental health problems and I've applied for disability.

This isn't the first time…I applied right after I got out of the hospital in 2011 (perhaps early 2012), was denied and didn't think much of it. I don't know why I decided to move on with my life instead of trying again, but I did.

But before I tried round two, I found an attorney. (Actually, I found the firm in October, but I didn't do anything with the application process at that time, because of going to work for CVS.) I had called one that advertises on television, and I talked to one of the guys that appears on television (yes, I freaked out a wee after that call); but he said that I'd have to be under treatment by a psychiatrist for six months or be hospitalized several times before they would help me. (I think that was pre-Medicaid, because I seem to remember calling Community Mental Health to get a psych and they were like, "We can't/won't help you unless you're a danger to yourself and others." It was like, "WHAT THE HELL?! I'm depressed, isn't that enough? Do I have to threaten to kill someone to get you to help me?!" BAH! Government!) But this one said, "Just see a psychiatrist and we'll help you."

And it was really that simple. I never got a call saying, "Please see 'Dr. Nova' more than once." I filed, I scheduled an appointment with the psych (so nicknamed because he graduated from the same school where I was going to get my masters in psychology) and they sent me the paperwork.

I was denied again and we took it to appeal…but Michigan is a year out from hearing appeals and it could take 353 days from the date of the hearing letter to the final result. So it will probably be April 2016 before my hearing (if I'm lucky) and they send the hearing letter about sixty to ninety days before that, so it could be January or February before I hear anything.

Obviously, though, they're already searching for clues.

Strange, five months before I even expect anything…but who knows what the government does, except for the government itself?

Perhaps there is/was nothing to worry about, as the visitor came in on a link from the article I reblogged, not the other way around.

And I reported it to my case manager, who didn't recommend shutting down my blog–he simply said he'd attach my note and the screenshot to my file and bring it up with my attorney when he got back on Monday.

But, as I often say, "If you think you should do something, you probably should."


Not that I have anything to worry about.

I can't afford to go on vacation, after all, and I have only a couple of offline friends, but they're so busy with their lives that they're not exactly throwing parties, you know?

But SSA investigators are trained to investigate every little thing for some miniscule slip-up that they know will trash my case.

So we will be quiet. For now.

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