Part 68 of the Phone Saga

(When I said last time that it was part 67, I was exaggerating…but since this is the sequel, I thought it ought to be 68.)

I didn’t like my iPhone. AT&T doesn’t get such great reception in the sticks. AT&T’s idea of caller ID (for their home phone) is just a number–no date, no timestamp, no name. (I’ve noticed now that we have Verizon back, there’s no name anymore, just date and time–which is better!) When we answered the phone, there’d be a delay and we’d have to say hello several times. (Now it’s the opposite–a delay before it rings. Makes us wonder if it’s the phone itself.) I think that’s it…

Anyway, we decided to go back to Verizon at the end of December. We still had the home receiver and Dad still had his phone, but had donated mine at his church…which is how there is even a part 68 to begin with.

December 21, I order a used Blackberry Bold from Amazon. (I would’ve preferred a Galaxy, but even the S3 is still $110 used and I was trying to stay in the budget defined from selling my iPhone to Gazelle.) Even with the holidays, there were still several days they could have mailed it out. But the dumbasses held onto it and didn’t ship it for six whole days! (The postal service had shipping info on the twenty-third, so that’s how I knew the company was screwing around.) I finally get it Saturday (the second), call Verizon to get everything changed over…”This phone is already active on someone else’s account.”

ASSHOLES! | The short story there is that I’ve messaged them multiple times–before and after receiving the phone–and there has been no response. Not even a “you’re cool to send it back. I’ve filed a claim with Amazon…hopefully that does it.

I talked to Dad and he finally approved a new phone from Verizon, so I went with the Blackberry Classic. (I could’ve gone with a Galaxy S5 for $2 more a month, but the Blackberry’s tactile keyboard is so appealing!) Called back, ordered…card won’t go through. Turns out Dad had transferred the money between credit unions, so we had to wait ’til Monday. Also, the woman was horribly condescending and refused to talk to me, treating me like I was all of twelve. (I’m thirty, by the way, if you’re a complete stranger and reading this.)

He calls to pay for it Monday, “It’s already been paid for.” We guessed that they’d use the numbers we’d already given them…didn’t think too much about it. I call that night, because Dad doesn’t have a tracking number in his inbox hours later…somehow, a manager overrode it so it went through without payment, even though they weren’t supposed to be able to do that. Supervisor(s) have to investigate, we’ll call you tomorrow.

Tuesday evening, I call them to see if they’ve got it figured out. It’s on hold because it was never paid for (or the numbers didn’t work or whatever. I can’t remember.) Woman transfers me, I give the numbers over again, still won’t go through. (No idea why at this point. Verizon is blaming the CU, but I’m not buying it.) I opt to cancel the order, so I’m transferred to another CSR. Did I mention that if you fail to add an account manager when you start your contract, you have to wait thirty. Fucking. DAYS before you can add someone? (Also thirty after changing your email address.) So every time I make a call, I have to put my father on for approval to conduct my business. This includes being transferred back to cancel the order, even though I haven’t left the line for a millisecond.

Order canceled, I place a new order from the Verizon site, it goes through. All is well.

What I don’t know is that at 10p, Verizon emails my father to say there’s a problem with the damn debit card. Again/still. Dad leaves so early Wednesday morning that he doesn’t stop to check his email, so he misses the message…which means Verizon gives us an automated call at 11:13a saying they have a problem and they need us to call them.

I call the phone number given and talk to a gentleman…and even then, I’m thinking I’m dead in the water. Dad’s not home to give his approval, the debit card is in his wallet, I’m crying from frustration…but I must have been talking to some Verizon god or something, because he didn’t ask to talk to my dad (I wonder if me saying “I’m his caretaker” had anything to do with it? Maybe not…), he uses the numbers he has on file…and it sticks. It actually stuck. As in: at this point, Verizon would have to send someone to Grand Rapids (or Lansing, if they wait that long), to get the box back from FedEx (yeah, right!), because it’s going to be delivered tomorrow.


Unless it’s dead on arrival, I am finally, blessedly, done.

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