Part 71 of the Phone Saga
It's never over, is it? Not really. The end is simply a figment of my imagination.
I'll try to keep this brief because I'm very tired of repeating myself and I'm literally tired, as everything that happened today resolved itself into one screaming, hyperventilating panic attack, the likes of which I've never seen.
(Okay, not actual screaming, but my voice was Very High Pitched by the time I stopped sobbing long enough to attempt to hold up a conversation.)
I'm sure you've seen the ads where Verizon promises to help you with your early termination fees (especially when you turn in your old equipment), up to $650. What they don't tell you is that they'll hand the money to you in a bill credit (don't know why they say you'll get a gift card…that's a lie) that will come in two to three months, after they're sure you'll stick around for a while. (Nevermind the fact that before we left in August, we'd been customers since 2008; and even that's rather late, as I had my first cell with Verizon in 2004–and never anyone else, except for August 2015 to January 2016–and my father had his first cell from them sometime between 1998 and 2000.)
But apparently no one at Verizon is trained to say, "If you're looking for your ETF money, we'll get it to you in two to three billing cycles", so I had to spend all day talking to a bunch of different reps and being switched between different departments before I got someone who could tell me this.
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I also apologize to the Verizon support rep I'm sending this to, as I'm inclined to use profanity (especially the F-word) in general conversation.