There’s a new…(old…old and paying attention to?)…Dear One in my life, whom I shall refer to by his “altworld”(/roman a clef) name of “Asher”. (I’m very shy about saying I like this gentleman. So shy, in fact, that only my best friend knows exactly who, and even then, I refer to him by a nickname most of the time!)
Anyway, I was thinking about Asher and how he’s worked with a lot of big names (Mel Gibson and Heath Ledger, for two, when I first discovered he existed1), and I wondered how it is that he’s had so many big titles compared to Jamie. (Happy birthday to my main man, by the way–MWAH! ♥) I’m guessing it’s because Jamie is considered a character actor and Asher is what I’d call a “utility player”–he can be a “that guy” anywhere, and Jamie is usually cast as a villain, or a minion for the actual villain.
Which made me think about the fact that even if I were willing to share Asher’s real name, most people would go “Who?“
So I decided to see where IMDb ranks my favorites (read: people who have altworld names, because I hope my favorites are all there) on their Starmeter as an exercise in checking their name recognition. (My Lady even gained #1 this year before Star Wars chopped her down with its giant lightsaber!)
A few things:
- These will be organized by IMDb’s rating, not mine, and I believe the meter spots are calculated by user clicks. (Although if they have a special title like “My Lady”, you know they rank pretty highly with me!)
- There will be pictures. (Of course!)
- I’m going to try to force my braincells into telling me where I first saw this person. It may be difficult.
- The ratings are current as of December 31, 2017. (I don’t know if they fluctuate daily or hourly…I’ve never paid that much attention.)
…aaand let’s do it backwards. The lesser known person first. Starting with the honorable mentions.
1Thought I first discovered. After reviewing his filmography a little more carefully, I realized that I saw him in a movie before the one I was marking as the starting point.
These people didn’t make the list because I like them for shallow reasons, like “he’s cute” or “I like his voice”. Heck, there are several Star Wars people on here just because I’d like to be friends with them! (Not that that’s shallow…I just didn’t want to put them on the main list.) Starting with someone who might not even be on IMDb…
Brad Little (*): remember my 2015 entry “Old Stories I Tell Myself“? Same gentleman.
Even though I’ve only seen him once, I felt like I should include him because he’s very good at what he does…and let’s face it: a Phantom-based sing-off with Gerry Butler would be out of this world!
First Glimpse: 2004 touring cast of Phantom of the Opera
Howie Dorough (*): is on IMDb (thanks to talk shows, a guest appearance on Sabrina the Teenage Witch and this summer’s Big Star, Little Star), but his rating is so low because he’s a recording artist and not an actor that I felt like I should remove it completely. Were we able to factor in his musical stardom, I’d hope he’d be in the top 500, if not the top 100.
First Glimpse: em…I have no. Fucking. clue what my first BSB song was. But 1997 is the year, for certain.
(I can’t resist younger, ponytail era Howie. That version inspired Eduardo in my debut novel, after all!)
April Billingsley (10281): this unexpected friendship started when she followed me on twitter and I thought, “I feel like I should know that name!”
IMDb to the rescue! April was playing a significant role in the Sunday evening drama I was watching and I didn’t even know her name! (I’m usually good at learning the names of the actors in the shows I like…I guess I hadn’t gotten that far with Resurrection yet?)
So I followed her back and added her on facebook, where I’ve watched her career from the sidelines ever since.
Special Nickname: AB
(What, just because I’m a novelist, I’m supposed to be creative? You’re talking to someone whose favorite “cheat” is to take the initials of the actor the character is standing in for and come up with a new name!)
First Glimpse: Resurrection (2014)
Charlie Shaughnessy (4111): did you know that “that guy from The Nanny” is actually a noble? (If you didn’t read my short story “His Last Love”, you might have missed it!) His ancestor (a second cousin) was a Canadian railway magnate was made a baron under George V, so Charlie’s full title is “Lord Charles George Patrick Shaughnessy, Fifth Baron Shaughnessy of the City of Montreal in the Dominion of Canada, and Ashford in the County of Limerick [Republic of Ireland]”. Whew…see why he goes by Charlie? xD
(Sidebar: I wouldn’t worry about Wiki saying there’s no heirs. Even if Salic primogeniture isn’t completely abolished among the nobles by the time Charlie and his brother pass on to the Manor in the Sky [heh], they have enough daughters between them that one of them will surely have a grandson!)
He’s charming and he has a great accent. I guess the only reason he’s not on the main list is I’m not crazy for him…?
First Glimpse: The Nanny, of course! (Even if I didn’t really watch it until I was an adult.)
Mark Consuelos (2853): he’s hot. Kelly is very lucky. The end.
First Glimpse: a lot later than it probably should’ve been! (Honestly, other than Oprah’s live Fridays, I think the only time I’ve seen him in anything is in My Super Ex-Girlfriend with Uma and…some other people who are apparently forgettable.)
Tommy Lee Jones (1359): remember “shallow reasons like ‘I like his voice’? Shallow reason number two, right here.
A fine southern drawl with deadpan southern charm? Count me in.
First Glimpse: Men in Black I
Next: the devil, a sea-faring hunk, and a bunch of ass-kickers!
I have it! Susie's Super Special Card of Superness is finally here!
(That's more of a "I've been waiting years to get one" finally here than a "boy, the mail is slow"–she just drew names Friday!)
Pink ink, even! I don't like pink, but I love the special attention. ^_^
Also, "pink ink" is fun to say. xD
In case you don't follow Susie, she's an aspiring novelist (here's some flash fiction from 2015), an illustrator, a five-time featured blogger here on WP (I think the linked entry is where I climbed aboard the Wild Ride), a world traveler and a breast cancer survivor.
I don't know how in the names of the gods she always manages to come up with illustrations for her family's Christmas card, paste them in and send them off; but she does, and whoever guesses the subject of each year's main image gets a card, too.
No, I didn't manage to guess skiing (I chose Paris), but Susie had two extra cards this year, so she drew names and mine was one.
So why is a Christmas card so special to me when I (technically) don't celebrate Christmas, and I generally say cards are a waste of tree?
I guess it's just the time and effort Susie spends to make such amazing cards for family and friends that makes me feel that anyone who receives one is very lucky indeed.
(Seriously, if people don't save these things, they're batshit crazy.)
I could probably do something similar with poetry, but I can't poem on command, and what's a card without images?
Plus, I don't have many people to send cards to, and (I'm guessing) all the "family cards" have my name signed to them, so it's kind of unnecessary.
The other big surprise of the season?
My dad announced that he wanted to celebrate the Solstice with me by opening a present on that day each year in the future.
(Along with our stockings on Christmas Eve and another present Christmas Day.)
This from the same man who told me twenty years ago that I was "going to hell" for my beliefs.
I don't think he agrees with me about no hell and no devil; but after twenty years of struggles between the two of us (finances, my mental health, his fibromyalgia) and seeing that the world is a progressively nastier place; perhaps he, too, believes that there is plenty of evil in the hearts of men.
I love people who say “sorry doesn’t cut it”.
Guess what? There’s only one word in the English language that means you are repentant and most people in America are monolingual.
If you’re so bent out of shape that you can’t accept “sorry”, there’s no way in hell you’re going to tolerate anything more elaborate.
Even if I said “Sorry, lo siento, het spijt me and ho sento“, that still wouldn’t be enough for your angry little ass, so why should I bother?
Everyone’s making their Star Wars lists, so I might as well join the party–with reasons, since this isn’t twitter. I doubt anyone will agree, though…
(P.S.: Spoilers abound! Lector cuidado!)
- Clone Wars: never saw any of them, never made an effort to see them. Not only do I prefer live action to stay that way (unless it's a quick cut-in, a la Kill Bill), but if I remember right, not all the movie actors repeated their roles. Yuck.
- Solo: after my disappointment with Rogue One (and since I've never been a big Han fan), I'll skip it. (I'll probably read the novel, though, just so I'm caught up.)
- IX: for obvious reasons
The Real Thing
9) Rogue One: yikes, what a stinker! Boring, draggy, and everyone dies at the end. I actually walked out halfway through because I couldn't stop looking at my phone to see how much time had passed! (It's been a year and I still can't believe I walked out of a Star Wars movie!)
I read the novelization to ensure I hadn't missed anything, and to confirm my sneaking suspicion that everyone dies at the end. (It wasn't much better that way.)
I realize that not every movie has to have a happy ending, but killing off all but the two characters that show up in IV-VI? Damn.
8) Attack of the Clones: congratulate Gareth Edwards–until Rogue One, this was my least favorite.
You would think the big arena fight (pictured) would excite me.
You'd think Yoda versus Count Dooku would excite me.
Sort of. (I would probably tie it for first in Best Battles of All Time.)
But neither of those redeem an otherwise flat outing, especially when you compare it to the lush costumes of the first and the drama of the third.
7) Empire Strikes Back: kind of baffled over suddenly hearing people say that this is the best Star Wars movie of all time. I'm guessing it's because of the big father/son battle? I agree that that's important, but Empire doesn't do a whole lot to forward the story outside of that point, which makes it a tad too dry for me.
6) Return of the Jedi: now we're actually getting to the movies that mean something to me!
"That outfit on Leia! (Jesus, Mary and Jojo the Carpenter!) How'd she get sucked into slavery, anyway?"
"Will Han still be alive when they get him out of the carbonite? Can they get him out of carbonite?" (When it looks like a big rock, concerns abound.)
And the big battle between Luke, Vader and Palpatine? Legendary!
(P.S.: Anakin's Sith name means "father" in Dutch? Yeah, Lucas thought he was clever. *snickerfit*)
5) Phantom Menace: I like the costumes, okay?!
(Although I feel sorry for Natalie, as I'm sure it took them hours to get her headpieces right, the dresses to lay just so, etcetera. The more elaborate the costume, the longer the actor spent getting ready, after all.)
You're not going to catch me saying the Gunguns were at all necessary, however. JarJar was (pardon the pun) jarring as comic relief, but his people weren't all that essential to the fight, either. Putting a major plot point on his shoulders in the next movie (or was it the third?) didn't redeem him to anyone, either.
Turn the page to read my top four!
I've been accused of "minimizing child abuse" in the Kevin Spacey case. Sorry…quoting Michigan law to you is "minimizing" what happened to Anthony Rapp?
Let's check this short version of the law by Michigan firm Smith Blythe:
What Constitutes Fourth Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct?
In Michigan, if sexual contact without penetration is alleged, it will fall into either the second or fourth degree of criminal sexual conduct. The fourth degree involves sexual contact, but not penetration, to the genital area, groin, inner thigh, buttocks, or breasts. (citation)
Wow, that's funny. Nothing about lying fully clothed on top of someone. Maybe Ms. Smith missed something? Let's check the full text of the law.
Michigan Law Regarding Criminal Sexual Conduct in the Fourth Degree
(because whatever happened wasn't severe enough for second)
Nothing there, either!
Do you suppose it could possibly be that Kevin Spacey didn't commit child abuse and actually engaged in nothing more than disappointing, drunken behavior?
Wow, what a concept! Maybe that's why multiple attorneys have said "there's nothing you can do"! Perhaps that's why the FBI is focusing on Harvey Weinstein, who actually broke the law!
If you'll excuse me, I have to take off before my eyes roll out of my fucking head.
Edited to Add: Five minutes after I posted this, I heard for the first time that there is more than one accusation against Spacey. In case you missed it the first time, this is only about the initial accusation. Since I didn’t know that anything further had come out, I do not know if he’s ever gone beyond not-quite-CSC-4.