…the future is a mystery, but today…
today is a gift.
That’s why we call it the present.
Oogway (Randall Duk Kim), Kung Fu Panda
One thing I hear a lot—one thing I’m sure all astrologers hear a lot—is that astrology is fake. The trouble is that the “evidence” they use to draw these conclusions isn’t very sound in itself.
“Astrology isn’t (and/or can’t be) scientifically proven!”
Sorry, but how many people on this planet believe in some deity (any deity) whose existence can’t be scientifically proven, yet churches, mosques and temples still dot the world…? (Also, can I find a calculator that can count that high? •chuckle•)
Based on Wikipedia (and I’m referencing that because of too many individual citations), and excluding secular and those that don’t believe in a specific deity or group of deities (such as UUs, who emphasize knowledge), that number is something in the nature of 6.9 billion people. And that doesn’t even include agnostics, who generally believe there’s some sort of deity, but not much beyond that.
That’s more than ninety percent of the planet that believes in something you can’t replicate scientifically.
And you laugh at me for believing in astrology, the numbers of whom are probably a great deal smaller?
‘Scuse me while I laugh right back!
Astrology can’t predict shit!
Isn’t it interesting…
❧ …how a meteorologist can make a prediction based on available evidence and it’s called “a weather forecast”;
❧ …how a scientist can make a prediction based on available evidence (and sometimes not, depending on what they’re studying) and it’s called “a hypothesis”;
❧ …but an astrologer can make a prediction based on available evidence and it’s called “fake”?
So who died and made skeptics the authority on the difference between a hypothesis and bullshit?
(I was going to write at least a medium-length rant on how the future is malleable and no one gets it right and so forth, but I think I’ve said quite enough.) (Except I forgot about pointing out that there was a time where generals and kings never went to war without consulting an astrologer, and even saints practiced it once upon a time—check out Saint Augustine.)
The stuff in the newspaper/magazines…
…is pretty much junk and I wonder why they even bother publishing it?
I think most people get the idea that astrology is fake from these alone, and—to be quite honest—I don’t blame them.
What you see in periodicals is your sun sign (that I refer to by the Greek name of Helios), which most say describes your inner self. The reason that it never feels like the whole you is because it has never. Once. DEPICTED THE WHOLE YOU!
Even by itself, it doesn’t tell you enough, because where Helios is in the sky (or not, in the case of night births) also factors into your personality. If you’re lucky enough to meet two people who were born hours apart, you can see dramatic differences even without their charts. I went to school with a guy who was born approximately three hours earlier and we were as different as night and day! (Bit of a pun there, since being born in January means there was a literal difference of night and day.)
Depending on what the astrologer puts into their charts, we’re looking at steadily decreasing percentages of the whole picture:
❧ The luminaries are always present – the sun (Helios) and Earth’s moon (Selene)
❧ Modern and Hellenistic (ancient Greek) include the original planets (and exclude us): Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn
❧ The former also includes Uranus, Neptune and Pluto (unlike NDT, we actually consider Pluto viable!)
❧ Western astrologers usually include the ascendant [eastern horizon], the midheaven [zenith], the descendant [western horizon] and the lower heaven [nadir]. (I’ll be referring to these as the four vertices below.)
❧ Not to mention asteroids, Arabic lots (including the Part of Fortune and the Part of Spirit), the North/South Node and whatever else they want to throw up there
The average Hellenistic chart uses 2 luminaries + 5 planets + Part of Fortune + 4 vertices, which equals 1/12 (8.3%).
Even though I’ve been working on that form lately, I use 2 luminaries + 8 planets + 4 vertices in my basic charts, which equals 1/14 (7.14%).
At the most extreme is everything I mentioned above: 2 luminaries + 8 planets + 2 nodes + 2 basic lots (Spirit and Fortune) + the 4 “most important asteroids”(Ceres, Juno, Pallas and Vesta, who I guess were all planets for thirty-seven years) + 4 vertices = 1/22 (4.54%)
If you could only read 4.54% of a book, watch 7.14% of a movie or 8.3% of a television show, wouldn’t you think it’s absolute crap too?
Let’s break that down (and round up) using popular media:
❧ 5% of The Hunger Games is 19.3 pages of the print version. (I don’t know about you, but I make my decision within the first fifty pages, if not sooner.) In my digital copy (with the font and margins set how I like), that doesn’t even get you to Effie drawing Prim’s name.
❧ A New Hope (Star Wars IV) is 121 minutes long. 7% of the movie is 8.47 minutes. Shockingly, that actually gets far enough to introduce you to Vader, Leia and the droids! But not Luke or Han. And no lightsabers, either. (I skimmed through this video to the 8.5 minute mark to get an idea.)
❧ My new favorite competition show is Crime Scene Kitchen, which is an hour long. That’s only 4.8 minutes—barely longer than one of the commercial breaks!
If you can’t make a decision on something to read or watch with that small of a percentage, how is trying to adjudicate your future that way considered sane?
I could go on about how astrology isn’t fake because there is no such thing as a coincidence (but I’m too lazy to look up the calculations) and there’s often more than one significator in the sky when something big happens (Mercury rules transportation and was in retrograde during the Miracle on the Hudson, but not during the Challenger disaster, which means something else was going on), but I don’t have the patience.
And none of that would convince the skeptics, anyway.
By some crazy stretch of the imagination, I decided it might be interesting to post my first attempt at a natal chart analysis. (My own, of course, but the chart of a former celebrity crush is in the offing.) One, so you could see what I can do (and I can show my mommy, who is very supportive…*giggle*) and two, so my astrology mentors (such as they may be) can comment and offer pointers.
I only did the sun (which I refer to as Helios) and its aspects, so here we go…!
17° Capricorn ~ Sixth House ~ Peregrine
Things like health, serving others and small animals drive you, which is why you love cats, studied health and worked in retail. As with many Capricorns, organization, attention to detail, time management and obedience to rules are of primary importance to you. Should someone be foolish enough to violate those four things—especially in relation to any sixth house issue—may the gods help them, because you will not be so inclined toward mercy.
While you often feel as if Capricorn doesn’t resemble the true you, you have a correctly-placed sense of Helios being the luminary of the Dayanara that lives deep inside. Your outgoing, enthusiastic and talkative nature may be the drywall, paint and carpet that make up your house, but your strongly-held Capricornian beliefs are the foundation of yourself and very little will ever change that.
Conjunct Venus: you long to find a partner who is like you in both mind and spirit. If someone can’t see the world as you see it—or in a very similar fashion—they’re simply not worth your time. You understand that there’s no such thing as a “fixer-upper” partner, and that they have to come willing to work on themselves under their own motivation, or not come at all.
Square Midheaven: Having supervisors that don’t understand the way you work is something you find irritating. To you, the workplace should be one of trust and obedience to the rules; not one where your superiors hover over your shoulder and yell at you when they don’t like what they see. You (and your Leo self) would love to be at the top, but question your worthiness and hesitate to try being yourself in order to get there.
Square Lower Heaven: it probably doesn’t surprise you that not having a “husband, daughter, home and career” (as you’ve always wanted) bothering you actually appears in your chart. If you were doing this chart analysis for someone else, you might write that not having their “white picket fence dream” is a source of grief for them, and—reflecting on your own life—might cause tears in envy of others.
Quintile Pluto: death may not bother you as much as it does others. You’re the type that sees the funeral industry as more of a career and less of a thing to be ignored until the last minute. If you could apply your Capricornian nature to death, change and reincarnation, you certainly would.
Sextile Mars: when family conflict comes into play, you want to be the mediator. Not one to let resentment fester, you try to work things out with others. When the situation between you and another is untenable (like you and your mother), you find value in airing your problems in therapy. Having a shoulder to cry on when family problems arise is important to you, as is the ability to learn where to set boundaries and how to enforce them.
Wow, that looks really nice with the planets as bullet points/accompaniment!
Warning: I'm new to the astrology game, but I wanted to try this because it involves some things I've been studying and I wanted to treat it like a school assignment.
The word goes out that Kim and Kanye are headed for Splitsville. You're a newbie astrologer who only understands a few divorce signs on a transit chart and got a 55% on your zodiacal releasing quiz. What do you do?
Use both methods to come to a conclusion and publish it on Twitter, of course!
(That and keep studying to improve my score, of course. *chuckle*)
Okay, the first thing I did was check Astro's databank for birth information for both of them. Since Kim is the only one with a birth time, I chose to work only with her, so the next thing I would do is erect a chart for her in Solar Fire. (Below is how Astro has it, with her chart adjusted to whole house signs. Click to make it bigger.)
Usually, I'd be concerned that the subject (known in the art as the "native") has moved since birth when working with transits, but I'm going to guess Kim hasn't strayed too far from Los Angeles, so it's going to be easy to erect the transit chart. I'm setting the time for 6:45p my time, because I saw the tweet before I laid down for my nap. Here are the transits (also clickable):
I found this guide back in November, and (lucky for me), there are a handful of things Psychic Scoop mentions that even a newbie like me can handle. The first thing they suggest looking for is,
1. Transits or progressions through the 1st or 7th house by Saturn, Uranus, Neptune or Pluto.
The first house is empty, but the seventh house contains Jupiter and Saturn, which gives us a point.
But we're not done with the seventh house, because the second step I can handle is:
2. Jupiter believe it or not tends to bring on divorce – this is due to its expansive nature and if one has been in what they feel is an oppressive situation, they will feel optimistic enough to “break free” at this time – this would be seen by transits to the 7th, ruler of the 7th.
On one hand, I like finding the evidence I'm looking for. On the other? Poor Kim! (Two points.)
Clue number three reads:
3. Dual bodied signs on the 7th cusp (Gemini, Sagittarius, Pisces)
6/7 cusp is Aquarius, but I consider both and 7/8 to be valid, and what do we have on the latter? That's right, Pisces. (We're 3/3.)
Then in number four:
4. Ruler of the 7th in a dual bodied sign
Here's our first loss—the seventh is ruled by Aquarius. (But we're still 3/4.)
In five, we read:
5. Venus in aspect to Jupiter, Neptune, Uranus or Pluto
This one gives us a lot of leeway, as it doesn't say what kind of aspect, just "an aspect", and four planets to choose from. Since charts of any sort are invariably a web of lines, I turn to the list of aspects, which has really tiny font. (Alas. There's probably a way to fix that, but I'm too lazy to ask about it.) This one moves us to 3/5, because the only aspects Venus has in this transit are to Selene (the moon), Mercury and Mars.
Actually, we end up washing out totally, because six and seven say:
6. Moon in the 7th house can make one “restless” in relationships, especially if it aspects Uranus
7. Many planets in the 7th house
Moon's in three and there are only two in the seventh, so the final score is 42%. Dismal.
Even though I'm still not the best at ZR, I'll give it a shot. The calculators at Astro Seek tell us that the formula for the Arabic Part of Divorce is Ascendant + Venus – 7th House, which in Kim's chart gives us Aries in the fifth house. Since calculating parts beyond level two is tricky, I'll setup Solar Fire to release from Aries and see what happens. (Clickable, as usual.)
Since the object of this game is to release as close as possible to the present without going over, I clicked 23 June 2003, and discovered that the nearest level 2 hit 21 October of last year and it's a loosing of the bond.
Oops! And what does Professor Brennan say about LBs?
"[They are] a major transition/change in trajectory." (from his ZR keyword list in unit 13 of his Hellenistic Astrology program)
I probably didn't need to go beyond level two once I saw that bond marker, but I wanted to see how close I could get to today's date, so I clicked on 20 November in level three and…do you see that blue mark in the picture?
You got it: a second loosing just arrived Sunday morning at 9:46a.
Which means that even though she scored badly in the transit department, Kim definitely has the indicators of major life changes right now. The door's open for her departure—whether she walks through it is up to her.
(Astrology school, of course, not grad.)
I haven’t done anything. (*sigh*)
Partially because I’m lazy and forgetful (wonderful side effect of depression, that last one) and partially because I think I’m hoping in the back of my mind that we get another stimulus check in the next few months. Why start up with the cheap program at the Centre of Excellence if I can hold on a little longer and get the money I need for Chris Brennan’s program?
Oh and apparently because I also said last time that I was going to wait. (*facepalm*)
Very Important Question: why is it “Hellenistic” instead of “Hellenic” astrology?
Fiverr clients? Nope. But I got a…well, I don’t know if you want to call it a job offer…it was a “we’re looking for people like you!” message.
A site wanted someone to work for them as a full time astrologer doing general and love horoscopes, earning a decent fee per month.
That’s great, but you really need to read the listings before you message people, or you’ll completely miss, “I’m doing software-generated reports to earn money for astrology school” and that I can’t yet do what you want.
(Not to mention that amount of money might start making SSA ask Awkward Questions About My Disability, since Fiverr is actually doing tax reporting now.)
I mean, if you want me to fake it for a few weeks while you pay for me to go to school…? (*snicker*)
That’s okay. I did the right thing by telling the truth, so hopefully an opportunity that works better for me will come around when I’m actually ready for it.
“It is the Wheel of Fortune that can throw you up very high, or bring you down very low.
Its message is to be indifferent to victory and defeat, as they both come on the turn of the wheel.”
~Jacquetta St. Pol, The Lady of the Rivers (Pippa Gregory)
Megan Thee Stallion is apparently my bitcoin bae. (I don’t usually like that word, but it seemed appropriate here.)
Last night, she was handing out $1m in bitcoin through Twitter and CashApp to encourage people to invest
I chose this one because it has the original tweet + her talking about bitcoin being a good investment
and since my amount matched what I was seeing on trending topics
I figure I was one maybe 100,000? And who knows how many people asked!
Turns out there was an astrological precedent for that! (I didn’t just stick this in here to brag…though my Leo side is probably making me do it! Haha)
Let’s hear from Geminihilist about what the planets were doing last night:
My mom says, “What are you going to do with all that money?”
Yodel if you hodl!
(That’s not a spelling error, by the way–it’s a legit crypto term.)
(One of the commenters said that the gal in the video no longer likes yodeling, because America’s Got Talent pigeonholed her and that’s all people want to do these days.)
I don’t hold as long as I probably should, but for a little, anyway, as I’m following an astrologer specializing in crypto on Twitter and he(?) said prices are probably going to go up in the next few months. So Meg’s little munificence will be stowed in a crypto wallet as soon as CashApp releases it and I’ll add a little more (and some ethereum) in a few days.
We’ll see what happens.
Learned a few years ago that pictures attract readers.
How's this for old business? (*chuckle*)
There are no refunds available for Win*Star, and the "winning times" program (which I initially thought was going to be useful by itself) has only produced less than $10 in the few times I've tried to use it for gambling. (Three ticket draws were a bust, and then I had some small wins in online lottery games.) I don't like losing money on unhelpful programs, but at least I've gotten some use out of it!
I've tried posting WS as a purchasable download (complete with my reg number, otherwise you can't use it) but—of course—no one's biting.
Solar Fire is pretty awesome, even if I don't know enough astrology to do much with it yet. I bought a lesson with an Aussie teacher while I still had the money (about $25 American) and she showed me stuff I already knew and a few new things, including one I didn't understand…and probably will never use even though she explained it.
On What I Want v What I Can Afford
My inspiration for studying astrology seriously is/was Patrick Watson. Most people would probably expect some fantastic session story where he gives me life-changing news that told me I had to start studying. Why else would he inspire me?
The truth is not that magnificent…especially since I have no idea. If I had to guess, I suspect it's partially to do with the fact that I expected some middle-aged astrology guru with twenty-five(ish plus) years of study under his belt, a gentle-but-firm demeanor…and I got a young man who was also the "weird kid" in school and is a few years younger than me with a thriving consultation business. (Not to mention a decent social media audience—he just hit 10k followers on Twitter earlier today!) So maybe the thought was, "If he can do it, why can't I?"
Unfortunately, I can't launch into the Outerspace of Awesomeness with him quite yet.
The logo above isn't one I just randomly snatched off the internet like most of my other pictures—I'd actually like to go to school there. (Since Patrick went there, natch.)
Except the average price for an astrological education is $1,753.75. And no one seems to offer payment plans. (It's those foreign programs, man! British schools seem to charge per term what American schools charge for the entire thing.) Not that I didn't ask Professor Brennan (after anxiously putting it off for a few days…ah-HEM!). He said something about splitting it up and I mentioned that PayPal offered a "split into four" thing, but that's still $124.25. (Which I could probably pull off on a monthly basis starting next month, but it still seems like a lot from my presently broke point of view. Plus, I'm not sure if you have to have credit approval for that or anything.) (He also said I could take some of the split-off classes and he'd reduce the price from the final tuition, but even those are something like $75-100 a pop.)
So the Universe is telling me to wait, I guess.
Well, that and maybe try to raise money for my studies by selling Solar Fire's auto-generated reports for cheap on Fiverr. Which I'm doing, as soon as I get the listing finished.
Sure, there's a cheaper school, but it's one of those places that advertise on Facebook and only teaches you the scratch basics, not cool stuff like the Arabic parts of fate and zodiacal releasing—the latter of which Patrick used to successfully predict the outcome of the election, I might add.
I'm going to keep the final bit short and simple, since I'm getting to the "tired and impatient" point with this post.
I finally ran one of SF's synastry reports (read: couples report) for my parents.
If I was a professional astrologer and a couple came to me for a consultation before they got married with a chart like that? I'd apologize and refund their money.
There's a reason my parents are divorced.