By some crazy stretch of the imagination, I decided it might be interesting to post my first attempt at a natal chart analysis. (My own, of course, but the chart of a former celebrity crush is in the offing.) One, so you could see what I can do (and I can show my mommy, who is very supportive…*giggle*) and two, so my astrology mentors (such as they may be) can comment and offer pointers.
I only did the sun (which I refer to as Helios) and its aspects, so here we go…!
17° Capricorn ~ Sixth House ~ Peregrine
Things like health, serving others and small animals drive you, which is why you love cats, studied health and worked in retail. As with many Capricorns, organization, attention to detail, time management and obedience to rules are of primary importance to you. Should someone be foolish enough to violate those four things—especially in relation to any sixth house issue—may the gods help them, because you will not be so inclined toward mercy.
While you often feel as if Capricorn doesn’t resemble the true you, you have a correctly-placed sense of Helios being the luminary of the Dayanara that lives deep inside. Your outgoing, enthusiastic and talkative nature may be the drywall, paint and carpet that make up your house, but your strongly-held Capricornian beliefs are the foundation of yourself and very little will ever change that.
Conjunct Venus: you long to find a partner who is like you in both mind and spirit. If someone can’t see the world as you see it—or in a very similar fashion—they’re simply not worth your time. You understand that there’s no such thing as a “fixer-upper” partner, and that they have to come willing to work on themselves under their own motivation, or not come at all.
Square Midheaven: Having supervisors that don’t understand the way you work is something you find irritating. To you, the workplace should be one of trust and obedience to the rules; not one where your superiors hover over your shoulder and yell at you when they don’t like what they see. You (and your Leo self) would love to be at the top, but question your worthiness and hesitate to try being yourself in order to get there.
Square Lower Heaven: it probably doesn’t surprise you that not having a “husband, daughter, home and career” (as you’ve always wanted) bothering you actually appears in your chart. If you were doing this chart analysis for someone else, you might write that not having their “white picket fence dream” is a source of grief for them, and—reflecting on your own life—might cause tears in envy of others.
Quintile Pluto: death may not bother you as much as it does others. You’re the type that sees the funeral industry as more of a career and less of a thing to be ignored until the last minute. If you could apply your Capricornian nature to death, change and reincarnation, you certainly would.
Sextile Mars: when family conflict comes into play, you want to be the mediator. Not one to let resentment fester, you try to work things out with others. When the situation between you and another is untenable (like you and your mother), you find value in airing your problems in therapy. Having a shoulder to cry on when family problems arise is important to you, as is the ability to learn where to set boundaries and how to enforce them.
Wow, that looks really nice with the planets as bullet points/accompaniment!
Learned a few years ago that pictures attract readers.
How's this for old business? (*chuckle*)
There are no refunds available for Win*Star, and the "winning times" program (which I initially thought was going to be useful by itself) has only produced less than $10 in the few times I've tried to use it for gambling. (Three ticket draws were a bust, and then I had some small wins in online lottery games.) I don't like losing money on unhelpful programs, but at least I've gotten some use out of it!
I've tried posting WS as a purchasable download (complete with my reg number, otherwise you can't use it) but—of course—no one's biting.
Solar Fire is pretty awesome, even if I don't know enough astrology to do much with it yet. I bought a lesson with an Aussie teacher while I still had the money (about $25 American) and she showed me stuff I already knew and a few new things, including one I didn't understand…and probably will never use even though she explained it.
On What I Want v What I Can Afford
My inspiration for studying astrology seriously is/was Patrick Watson. Most people would probably expect some fantastic session story where he gives me life-changing news that told me I had to start studying. Why else would he inspire me?
The truth is not that magnificent…especially since I have no idea. If I had to guess, I suspect it's partially to do with the fact that I expected some middle-aged astrology guru with twenty-five(ish plus) years of study under his belt, a gentle-but-firm demeanor…and I got a young man who was also the "weird kid" in school and is a few years younger than me with a thriving consultation business. (Not to mention a decent social media audience—he just hit 10k followers on Twitter earlier today!) So maybe the thought was, "If he can do it, why can't I?"
Unfortunately, I can't launch into the Outerspace of Awesomeness with him quite yet.
The logo above isn't one I just randomly snatched off the internet like most of my other pictures—I'd actually like to go to school there. (Since Patrick went there, natch.)
Except the average price for an astrological education is $1,753.75. And no one seems to offer payment plans. (It's those foreign programs, man! British schools seem to charge per term what American schools charge for the entire thing.) Not that I didn't ask Professor Brennan (after anxiously putting it off for a few days…ah-HEM!). He said something about splitting it up and I mentioned that PayPal offered a "split into four" thing, but that's still $124.25. (Which I could probably pull off on a monthly basis starting next month, but it still seems like a lot from my presently broke point of view. Plus, I'm not sure if you have to have credit approval for that or anything.) (He also said I could take some of the split-off classes and he'd reduce the price from the final tuition, but even those are something like $75-100 a pop.)
So the Universe is telling me to wait, I guess.
Well, that and maybe try to raise money for my studies by selling Solar Fire's auto-generated reports for cheap on Fiverr. Which I'm doing, as soon as I get the listing finished.
Sure, there's a cheaper school, but it's one of those places that advertise on Facebook and only teaches you the scratch basics, not cool stuff like the Arabic parts of fate and zodiacal releasing—the latter of which Patrick used to successfully predict the outcome of the election, I might add.
I'm going to keep the final bit short and simple, since I'm getting to the "tired and impatient" point with this post.
I finally ran one of SF's synastry reports (read: couples report) for my parents.
If I was a professional astrologer and a couple came to me for a consultation before they got married with a chart like that? I'd apologize and refund their money.
There's a reason my parents are divorced.
Ah, that wonderful moment when you think, "Oh my damn…what did I do?!"
I've been dabbling in astrology for years—mainly pulling charts for certain gentlemen toward which I have affection in some form or another—and I decided to study it seriously sometime in the last few weeks. I looked around and found a program that will let you pay module-by-module, and I determined out of three software programs most commonly in use, Win*Star was probably the most practical and reasonably priced. (I also picked up another program for fun, but since I don't have a problem with it, I'm not going to discuss it.) I was all excited to have it…until I wasn't.
I'm pretty sure I was already aware that the interface looked like a relic from Windows 95, but not that it would be hard to navigate. I played quite a bit of "what does this button do?", and I'm still unsure.
The included charts look nothing like I want them to (which is crazy, because there are approximately a zillion) and the aspect lines (those indicating conjunctions, squares, trines, etcetera) won't show up even after clicking the appropriate box.
I even tried the blank chart, thinking I could press one button (or select a pulldown) to give me planets, another aspects, a third to connect the lines…but if it's there, I can't see it.
I'm going to try looking up some tutorials on YouTube to see if that helps before seeking a refund, but I just wanted to have a record of me not liking WS so they won't think I'm trying to cheat them out of their money. (Of course, they can probably deactivate my customer number or something, but…)
As for another program? The Solar Fire demo won't even install, so I can't be sure I won't hate that one, too. It looked really nice when I had a consultation with another astrologer, but looking nice and feeling nice are two different things entirely.
or: “I was a Fraud, Therefore, Everyone Else Must be, Too”
I recently reread this article after first encountering it over a year ago, and I must say, the idiocy is astonishing. It’s like…you have no gift so you decided to smear the rest of us? Why the hell did you even start if you didn’t care about what you were doing? If you want to play party games, play party games—don’t make a profession out of something that you don’t actually give a damn about.
Here’s some of the crap The Guardian saw fit to print:
I started off with the cards, but then I found out reading people was just as effective.
Congratulations! Cold reading is exactly what bullshitters like you do. Are you proud of yourself for figuring that one out?
I discovered that most of the time, people didn’t want their future told, they just wanted a listening ear.
So are you telling us that you practiced therapy without a license under the guise of fortunetelling? Did you really just admit to breaking the law? ‘Cause that’s what I’m hearing. (Once or twice is being friendly. Doing it every damn day with most—if not all—of your clients is dangerously close to therapy.)
♑☉ + ♌asc + ♐☾
Astrology is just a word association game. It’s not that hard.
No, but your brain apparently is—only an extremely dense person would think it’s “easy”.
She’s apparently never read through an astrologer’s Twitter feed. It’s a completely different language, with different dialects based on what kind of astrology the person uses.
I don’t know why astrology follows a geocentric model when everyone else went to heliocentric centuries ago.
Because it’s based on what’s in the night sky, you bafflingly brainless bitch! You don’t calculate conjunctions, oppositions, trines, etcetera of the Earth because you’re riding on it!
Just like when we manage to colonize the moon or Mars or whatever, some software developer is going to have to remove the celestial object we’re riding on at the time and replace it with Earth. Only then will the Earth have aspects to the other luminaries.
I hope my future commentary on astrology (and divination) will be a lot better. Hopefully I won’t run into any more morons!
Note from 120520: after being introduced to my astrology software, I’ve since learned that a heliocentric model is used for some calculations. However, this woman was complaining about it in terms of “everyone and their brother knows the Earth revolves around the sun”. (Not to mention that a woman who thinks astrology is about “word association” sure as hell isn’t going to be doing complicated heliocentric calculations!)
I’ve been reading Freemasons for Dummies and it’s a relatively fascinating book. There are some dry parts, but I suppose that’s to be expected when you’re reading an introductory book on an order that traces its lineage back to the Temple of Solomon (or so it claims).
Anywho, Masonry makes me think of the Order of the Eastern Star…and precisely what annoys me about OES.
1. All OES meetings must have at least two Masons present. No Masons, no meeting. Now I realize that OES was created as a sort of a “Freemasons Ladies Auxiliary” (and not an actual auxiliary, the way I understand it) and they probably wanted to present a veneer of respectability for their meetings, but that still pisses me off. If OES is meant to be the ladies branch of Masonry (or as close as one can get to it and still stay “in the mainstream”), then chapters should be able to meet with one or even zero Masons present, if it pleases them.
2. Despite the similar requirement to simply believe in a divine being, OES is almost entirely Christian oriented. In Masonry, it’s forbidden to discuss matters of religion and politics. Although a lot of the symbolism comes from the bible and they require a “book of law” to be present and open at all times, Christianity is not highly emphasized. Just as long as you believe in a higher being and have the book of law in its appointed spot (whether it’s the bible, the koran, the vedas or anything else), you and your lodge are in good shape. But the whole point of OES is its biblical connections–each of the five points of the star represent a different woman of the bible. (Even though two names are made up and one of the two’s story is also made up.) I guess it irritates me because the men are allowed to have a fraternity free of all talk and presence of Christianity, but the women are stuck with a sorority that’s rife with it.
3. If you want to join OES, you have to figure out which man/men in your family are/were Master Masons. This one really cheeses me off. It doesn’t matter that my great-grandmother was a lifetime member–if I want to join (which I’m not sure I do anymore), I have to figure out who it was that was the Master Mason in Granny’s family and hope that particular relationship to me is on the acceptable list. And all I know is it wasn’t my great-granddad. (That isn’t mentioned in the book I’m reading [I’ve already skimmed over the OES section]–I actually got it from the OES secretary for Michigan.)
I’d just say screw it (and screw irregularity) and just join Le Droit Humaine or one of the other co-Masonry organizations, but there aren’t any lodges closer than the Detroit area. 😛